5.  WHAT ARE THE EIGHT COMMANDS FOR HUSBANDS THAT ARISE FROM EPH 5:22-33? - CONT.
iv) vs 29  Nourish your wife - Greek: To rear up to maturity, to train, to nurture, to bring up.
A man is to strengthen his wife spiritually and support her emotionally, as she is a weaker vessel.
To nourish is to feed, causing spiritual and emotional growth, resulting in maturity and stability.  Your loving actions,
kind, tender & encouraging words, guidance and example feeds and strengthens your wife.
To nourish is to provide for your wife and meet ALL of her needs.
Groucho Marx said, "The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."  Obviously I don't fully subscribe to this, but it brings a point home that a selfish, tight husband will destroy his marriage.  Start believing God for finances so your wife can have that new dress or makeover.
Antonyms - starve, undernourish. Some men starve their wives of love and undernourish them by negatively talking down at them - words of death and destruction.

v) vs 29  Cherish your wife - Greek:  to soften by heat, to keep warm in one's bosom, to brood, as of birds covering their young with their feathers.  To cherish with tender love, to foster with tender care.
Antonyms - desert, forsake, abandon, renounce, neglect, ignore.
Dissipate any uncertainty she has of leaving her father's home, love and security, by sharing your life and home
with your wife, without any reservations.  It's devastating for a wife to have had an open loving father, then to leave
that secure environment, only to discover that she has a closed, cold and insensitive husband.  Go out of your way to
make her feel safe, secure, loved and well taken care of.
ILLUSTRATION: Someone said, "I want to be treated like a king in my home!"  Well, that's easy.  Make her the queen, and then you can be king.
Be understanding and sympathetic towards your wife - even when you don't understand.
ILLUSTRATION: Marlene cried on honeymoon - she was missing her mother.  I told her I understood and just
loved her.  That's a bad time to say, "What's wrong with you, you've got me!"
QUOTATION: Woman is said NOT to have been taken out of man's head to be lorded over by him, nor from his
feet to be trampled on by him, but from his side to be equal with him, from under his arm to be protected by him,
and from near his heart to be loved by him.
ILLUSTRATION: "I'm LONELY," Adam told God in the Garden of Eden.  "I need to have someone around for
company."  "Okay," replied God.  "I'm going to give you the perfect woman.  Beautiful, intelligent and gracious -
she'll cook and clean for you and never say a cross word."  "Sounds good," Adam said, "But what's she going to
cost?"  "An arm and a leg," replied God.  "That's pretty steep," countered Adam.  "What can I get for just a rib?"

vi) vs 31  You are to leave your parents for your wife.
A man must provide his wife her own private dwelling in order for a marriage to be successful.  Don't expect her to move in with your parents - this is a recipe for disaster.  If you can't afford to keep a home you can't afford a wife.  Successful mariages run on money, honey - not on love alone.
ILLUSTRATION: When money goes out the front door, love goes out the back door.
I'm sure this does not apply here, but in some homes you have outlaws instead of  in-laws.  God's Word instructs that in cases where the in-laws start meddling into the marriage and try to make their son choose between them and his wife - he must always support his wife.
That's why it's so important for in-laws to realize that the wife comes from a different family background and has
been trained to do things differently.  They must let her get on with making her home as she sees fit, with no
interference or cutting comments.
All wise children will seek and listen to their parents advise - that's positive.  What the Bible is warning newlyweds against is parental interference - that is NOT to be tolerated.

vii) vs 31  The husband must cleave to his wife - Greek: to glue to, to stick to, to join one's self so closely to your
wife.
Collins Thesaurus:- be true to, devoted to, remain with.
ILLUSTRATION: Think of the South African Advert where the epoxy glue sticks two pieces of metal together with such a strong bond that it can be used as a link in a chain for a crane to pick up a bulldozer (i.e. an unbreakable bond).
That's how your marriage is to be for life - unbreakable and unshakable.
Just like no one would think of tearing off one of his limbs from his own body, so the husband should never think
of ever being separated from his wife.  Every Christian must be single minded about their marriage being a success.
Slam the divorce door shut for life, and never use it as a cheap threat - especially when you're angry.
Prov 5:18b (NAS) ...rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Agatha Christie said, "An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have - the older she gets, the more
interested he is in her."
JOKE: Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

viii) vs 31  Be joined with your wife as one flesh.
You are to consummate the marriage and in doing so be gentle, considerate and meet all your wife's needs.  No
further comments will be appropriate here.  Its all been dealt with in private marriage counseling sessions.
Keep your blinkers on after marriage.  The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.  Look around you -
you're already in the greenest pasture.

6.  WHAT FOUR COMMANDS MUST WIVES OBEY TO ENSURE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE?

i) vs 22-24  Wives are to submit to the leadership of their husbands in the home.
No one said it's easy - but if you do, you'll bring the unity and the blessing of God into your home.
Psa 133:1,3 (NAS) Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers (or marriage partners) to dwell together in unity!
3b  ...for there the LORD commanded the blessing - life forever.
God is big enough to sort your husband out, if he needs sorting out, but don't try to do God's job - you'll only get in
the way.  Hand him over to God.
Isa 1:19-20 (NKJ) "If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;
20  But if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword"; for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.
1 Sam 15:23 (NKJ) For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he also has rejected you from being king."
Rebellion is the anti-Christ spirit of witchcraft.  Many wives are subtly practicing witchcraft in their own homes by
undermining their husbands leadership and authority.
The husband makes the wife's part very easy if he truly loves his wife with the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ.
This in no way makes the wife a dummy, "Yes dear, no dear, whatever you say, dear".
Husbands and wives are to share ideas and desires and discuss them.
A smart husband will listen to the wisdom of  his good God given wife.
Gen 21:12 (NAS) ...God said to Abraham, "...whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her..."
Many a man could have saved himself much heartache if he was not stubborn and would only have listened to his
wife.
However, there will be times when the husband will take his God given leadership and go with his idea.  Here the
wife must learn to submit to her husband, and not sulk because she did not get her way.
An unsubmissive, bossy, loud and domineering wife grieves the heart of her husband and her God.
ILLUSTRATION: Grossly overweight bossy secretary at DCC who you could hear coming from 3 floors up.
ILLUSTRATION: Domineering lady I sold house to in Seaview.

ii) vs 33  The wife is to show respect for her husband, as the Church does to Christ - Greek: phobeo (fob-eh'-o); to be in awe of; reverential fear on the part of a wife for her husband; to reverence, venerate (admire, adore, look up to), to treat with deference (esteem, regard) or reverential obedience.
It is translated as - Afraid 43 times; Fear 49 times; Filled with awe once; and Respect once.
Anytime she refuses to submit to her husband or takes him for granted or talks disrespectfully to him, especially
in public, she shows a lack of respect.
There are no perfect husbands or wives and just as the husband must work at loving his wife, so she by God's
grace must work at respecting her husband.
The #1 ENEMY in every marriage is a wife who continually shows a lack of respect for her husband.
Without realizing it, she is slowly destroying his love for her.
ILLUSTRATION: If his love for her could be represented by a huge brick wall, she is slowly demolishing his
love for her brick by brick, every time she shows a lack of respect.
She is also slowly destroying her husbands self respect. She is to be her husband's helper, not destroyer.
Gen 2:18  (NAS) Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper (a person that gives relief or aid - Hebrew) suitable for him."
She is to stand by his side, support him when he is down, encourage him to go on, and in so doing build up his
self esteem by showing loving respect.
Behind every successful man there is a good supporting wife.
There's a Japanese Proverb that says, "All married women are not wives."

iii) She keeps herself beautiful for her husband, but not at the expense of adorning the inner man.
1 Pet 3:1-7 (NAS) In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2  as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3  And let not your ADORNMENT be merely external - braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4  but let it (your adornment) be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and
quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5  For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.
6  Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right (i.e. respect him) without being frightened by any fear (i.e. fear that if you submit to him he'll take advantage of you).
7  You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
He married an attractive, appealing woman, and does not want to come home in five years time and have to say,
"Wow, what a mamma!"