É INTRODUCTION Ê
- How did you meet?É FAMILY BACKGROUND HISTORY Ê
- How long have you known each other?
- When did you get engaged?
- How well do you get along?
- How well have you coped in resolving a crisis in your relationship?
Eph 4:26-27 (NAS) "Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
27 and do not give the devil an opportunity."
- What are your reasons for wanting to get married?
- How much do you love each other?
- Get details of the home environment they each grew up in, especially the way their parents treated each other. (This has a great influence on your reactions to one another when under pressure).É EMOTIONAL MATURITY Ê
- Animals are born with instinct - humans are born Tabla Blonka (i.e. they are born with a blank mind and are programed by their environment).
- You're not only marrying a person but a background.
- Lay the axe to the family tree - you are now sons of God.
Mat 3:8,10 (NAS) "Therefore bring forth fruit in keeping with repentance;
10 and the axe is already laid at the root of the trees; every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire."
John 1:12-13 (NAS) "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name,
13 WHO WERE BORN not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but OF GOD."
- What control does either one of your parents have over you?
Gen 2:20b-24 (NAS) "...but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.
22 And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
23 And the man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be call Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.'
24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave (cling, stick, be joined) to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."
- Do you believe you're mature enough for marriage?É SPIRITUAL MATURITY Ê
1 Cor 3:1-3 (NAS) "And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to babes in Christ.
2 I gave you milk to drink not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able,
3 for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?"
- Are you an emotionally stable person?
1 Cor 2:16b (NAS) "But we have the mind of Christ."
- Are you a whole (or complete) person?
Col 1:28b (NAS) "that we may present every man complete (mature, perfect) in Christ."
- Do you love yourself?
Gal 5:14 (NAS) "For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, 'You shall love your neighbour as YOURSELF.'"
- Do you accept yourself?
- Do you enjoy being by yourself or is your whole life wrapped up in your fiancé/fiancée?
- How long have you been saved?É SPIRITUAL MATURITY - CONT. Ê
- Where did you get saved?
- Have you served God faithfully and consistently?
- What was the cause of your backsliding?
- How regularly do you come to church?
- Have you made our Church your spiritual home?
- Are you filled with the Holy Spirit and do you pray in tongues daily and for how long?
- Do you read your Bible daily and for how long?
- Do you absorb what you read in God's Word?
- Do you do what you read in God's Word?
- How far have you progressed on the Layman's School of Training?
- By when do you plan to complete all 18 holes?
- Are you actively involved in your local church?
- Do you have a goal for active ministry in your local church?
Eph 4:16 (NAS) "From whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love."
Rom 12:1,6a (NAS) "I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
6a And since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let each exercise them accordingly..."
- What do you believe your ministries are?
- Have you reported for duty as a soldier of Jesus Christ?
2 Tim 2:3-4 (NAS) "Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.
4 No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier."
- Are you in submission to the authority of the spiritual leaders God has placed over you?
- Do you tithe?
- Do you love Jesus more than each other?
Eccl 4:11-12 (NAS) "Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?
12 And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."
- Do you find it easy to submit to this man?
Eph 5:22-33 (NAS) "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the
Savior of the body.
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husband in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;
26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes (bring to maturity, strengthen spiritually and emotionally - Greek) and cherishes (to foster with tender care, warm in one's bosom - Greek) it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.
31 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to His wife; and the two shall become one flesh.
32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she RESPECT (Phobeo-Greek) her husband."
1 Pet 3:1-7 (NAS) "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2 as they observe your chaste and RESPECTFUL behavior.
3 And let not your adornment be merely external - abrading the hair, and wearing gold jewellery, or putting on dresses;
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.
6 Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
7 You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."
- Do you find it easy to RESPECT this man? (A wife who shows no respect for her husband will soon destroy his love for her).
- How should a wife show respect towards her husband?
- How could a wife show disrespect towards her husband?
- What every woman wants from her husband - SeCuRiTy:
Security - She wants you to make her FEEL that she is the most important person in your life by the way you speak to and treat her.
Communication - She wants at least one hour of detailed conversation with you everyday.
Romance - She want's you to continue treating her like a lady, romance her by continuing to pay attention to the small things - like opening her door for her, letting her go first, never forgetting important occasions like birthdays and anniversaries, taking her on candlelight dinners, buying her cards and flowers, etc.
Touch - She wants at least 12 loving reassuring touches everyday, like affectionate hugs, tender kisses, holding her hand, putting your arm around her, tickling or massaging her, etc.